heavy

a weight washes over me

a heaviness of all the things i have yet to deal with

a weight so heavy, my legs feel like like they may

just

not

move

a heaviness that somehow softens

every inch of my body.

a reminder of my human

my humility

the urge to cry fills my chest, but nothing comes out.

the result of living a life conserving any emotion that may arise

simply because

it

hurts

and i “shouldn’t cry”

to hold space for others, is a gift i carry with me at all times,

but somehow i haven’t learned how to share that gift with myself

but i am.

slowly

but surely

grace washes over me too

acceptance of this human experience

one that somehow feels like a heavy burden to carry

and the most beautiful thing.

the two can exist together.

and life reminds me of this again.